Marine Corps boot camp is a character-building experience. You learn how to march, operate a firearm, and get a serious workout on a daily basis. Before you are even able to get all of that, there is one step that you have to accomplish. To march like a Marine, you must first make your bed like a Marine. It sounds simple enough, but there are plenty of recruits who get hung up.
When a Staten Island Advance reporter went down to South Carolina to check in on the Parris Island base, they got more than they bargained for. They wanted firsthand instruction on the finer points of bed making. Sorry, everyone. That’s actually civilian speak. You’re supposed to call your bed a rack. We have already screwed it up and we’re not even there to try ourselves.
So how did this intrepid reporter fare? It went every bit as terrible as you would have expected. It’s a three-minute video but you will feel every second of those three minutes. Our secondhand embarrassment levels are high but it’s too funny not to watch. Staff Sgt. Ryan Granados is the senior drill instructor who is tasked with showing reporter Amanda Steen the ropes.
As it turns out, making a rack to military specification is much tougher than it seems. The whole stereotype about being able to bounce a coin off the end of the rack is 100 percent true, and that’s the part that always terrified us. How are you supposed to be able to bounce a coin off a bed?
This is the very same conundrum that Amanda wrestled with. Additionally, The corners of the rack are supposed to have 45-degree folds. The keywords here are “supposed to.”
God bless the troops who are able to make their beds to these standards each day and still have time to get things accomplished. The drill instructor’s frustration is palpable here and you won’t be able to stop laughing. His final words here are fitting: “That’s probably the worst rack I’ve ever seen, you understand?”
Check it out for yourself in the video below:
Chris Winters is an avid writer who also loves to hunt ghosts when she’s not at her keyboard. Although she once saw someone walking towards her with a sheet over their head, she’s yet to confirm that they exist.